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On the dream deferred…

Stressed? Anxious? Feel like giving up? This post is for you.  What is the meaning behind turmoil on the path to our dreams? The path to our dreams seems linear at a young age.  As we get older, that ideal changes as we come to realize that life happens in spite of our dreams. On the path to career elevation, entrepreneurship, our relationships, we can be subjected to constant rejection.  

Leading to low self-esteem and causes some to stop pursuing their dreams altogether. So, the question is: Why do some women stop chasing their dreams when faced with adversity while others persist?

Some would argue it is a matter of strength or hustle. However, it has nothing to do either. Persisting passed failure requires patience and strategy.

Research suggests that the main reason some stop pursuing their highest goals due to the 'grass is greener' syndrome. The grass is greener syndrome suggests that at the core of people ending their journey is based on fear or fantasy. Meaning that we either expect too much or succumb to fear: "fear of being trapped in commitment, fear of boredom, fear of loss of individuality, and fear of oppression." A easy way to know if you could be experiencing this syndrome is to examine your patterns. Sometimes the need to succeed can become toxic and dangerous similar to any addiction.

Here are the five main patterns:

1. Constantly wanting things to get better, however never being satisfied.
2. Perfection.
3. Need to run away from difficult decisions.
4. Consistent and persistent dissatisfaction with everything.
5. The need to have everything you want. Ultimately, success alone could never be enough.

As you can see, failure isn't always explained by life challenges or other people who might have blocked an opportunity. If you fall into one of the above categories seeking psychotherapy can help you create better habits so that you are purposefully taking actions towards your dreams. Not having the right intentions can attract the very turmoil that we feel is holding us back.

Sometimes the dream isn't deferred. Often times we have just become our own worst enemy. Nothing to feel guilty about, however be cautious of the responsibility that comes with being highly ambitious. The stress and anxiousness you feel is correlated to your motivations for the way you are living your life. IF you find yourself consistently facing chaos in your personal life, make changes from within.

“Great ambition is the passion of a great character. Those endowed with it may perform very good or very bad acts. All depends on the principals which direct them.”
– Napoleon Bonaparte

Everything happens at the right time.

We can’t rush to success. That is why comparison is a crucial thing to avoid. We will all get there, just not at the same time. Sometimes it’s okay to quit. The important thing to remember is to avoid stopping. We are all allowed to take a break and regroup. Be mindful of your goals on a daily basis as a means of inspiration so that you can enjoy the fruits of your labor. Ambition is at the core of your character and tied to the passions that ultimately lead you to your purpose.

Setting boundaries for your best life

This post is inspired by my stress and wavering faith to stay motivated. As humans, it is in our nature to become attached and letting go seems trivial and difficult. However, any relationship (friendship, romantic, or work ) that does not have a balance or produce good vibes should not be allowed into your ‘threshold.’ I had a hectic weekend and after all of the latest challenges to enter my life, I haven’t been feeling quite motivated to keep going. Life is funny in that way.

The reality is our lives can change in an instance.  In one moment things are moving along like a well-oiled engine and then the next, BAM! You get hit with a ton of bricks and are left picking up the pieces.

We all have limits. You are human and you have needs. The longer you go on putting those needs ahead of others the more you will lose yourself. Think of in terms of a scale. If you keep allowing the people around to handle you their problems or ‘rocks’ as my mother would say. Eventually, you will be weighed down.

Until recently I was giving so much of my self away from that I had no clue of who I really was. I knew I was an awesome friend (depends on who you ask), always there for family, and an insane work ethic.

This morning I woke up defeated and lost. Typically I maintain a “can-do” attitude but today, not so much. I don’t know what you may be battling but I wanted to share these three quotes that helped me get rejuvenated to keep going.  As I head to work I will be resonating these words so eloquently spoken. I just wanted to share a simple reminder that the past does not define you and the present is here to teach you. Your future is still ahead of you.

When conflict entered my life I chose to internalize the things I couldn’t control rather than staying focused on the things I had the power to change.  Many of us when we get to a point in life where we are down bad will choose to hide our pain.  I’m here to offer another choice-rising above it.

Here are three quotes that powerfully represent the true meaning of movement and why it is important that we keep going:

Forgiveness is good for the soul.  Forgiving others is never about how they made you feel.  Their apology can never take back the pain they cause.  What forgiveness does, is creates space for you to move forward emotionally detached from that pain.  The point is: let go or be dragged by it. 

There is no need to start over.  There is no going back, only moving forward.  Each moment is a fresh start.  In every moment you get to choose what you want to represent.

>This quote is my all time favorite.  Always trust the magic of new beginnings.  Our pasts our lessons, not highlight reels of our failures.  Next time you find your self wanting to reminisce on past what-ifs also ask yourself what would you have learned had that not happened?  This by any means does not justify trauma, abuse, or pure hate and evil.  This allows you to create space to move forward and complete your purpose regardless of the circumstance that was formed against you. 

Always remember to keep your hope alive and your passion burning no matter what challenges lay ahead.

Side Note

Ask yourself: What if you could improve just one area of your life with lasting results?

Never give up. And if you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide please call The National Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-TALK.

(I do not own any of the images featured)